Fixed Mindset or Growth Mindset
Fixed mindset usually happens when there is fear. Fear sits in part of the brain called the Amygdala. It is where the stress response of fight, flight, freeze comes from. You may not even have realised that you are feeling fear. It can disguise itself and present as anger, procrastination, with a big spoonful of stubborn avoidance and injustice. Heaven forbid if a loved one should come along and offer a solution to a way out. There is a strong need to be “right” even if we know we may not be. The reasons get piled up in both the conscious and sub-conscious mind. Fear of change. Fear of not knowing. Fear of making decisions. Fear of choices. Fear of commitment. Fear of saying Yes/No. Fear of asking for help. Fear of getting it right. Fear of getting it wrong. Fear of making mistakes. Fear of being happy. Fear of speaking up. Fear of the truth. Fear of love and being loved. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being enough. Fear of meeting others expectations. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of… the list goes on and on.
The kinds of behaviours and attitudes that support these fears and feeling this way might look like: a refusal to listen or engage, walking away and spending lots of time alone, no interest in solutions and not open to possibilities, resistant to change, and a long list of other excuses that become obstacles.
It can feel like nobody understands and every door closes. It is this self-sabotaging behaviour that keeps us stuck. The worst part is, it’s the last place we really want to be but, it’s almost familiar and familiar is safe. Like pulling over the duvet knowing there are lots of things we could be doing but we would rather not. Nothing will change but better the devil we know sort of thing.
Growth mindset happens in the prefrontal cortex. It opens up the mind and body. Allowing natural development to occur. Acceptance and willingness. Feelings of inner strength and determination. There is almost a hunger to make change happen even if you are not sure how. This determination supports those first steps to be more curious and explore. We may not be fully prepared, but want to step out of our comfort zone and focus on supporting ourselves to succeed in a way that feels close to what we really want in life.
Fixed mindset closes us down. Growth mindset opens us up.
The Snowdrop has always been a good analogy for me and the way I want to live my life. It’s a display of nature at its best in growth mindset. The snowdrop is surrounded by obstacles. The bitter wind. The frozen ground. The lashing rains. The snow and ice. The isolation.
The snowdrop will come in spite of everything that has been thrown at it. It will push its fragile stems through the rock-solid ground and continue to grow not knowing if it will make it. Not knowing if it will be successful. If the sun will shine or if it will manage to do what it was destined to do and be part of the first signs of Spring. The start of a new Year, a beginning.
The snowdrop arrives and sates, I am here, even if I have this tiny thin fragile stem. Even if it has been a bitter, cold tough winter. I will sway in the wind and grow with the sunshine. I will do my best. Even if I’m unsure, I will raise my head and show up to my purpose in life. I will be the best snowdrop that I can be. In that moment, and as it raises its head, the snowdrop sees that it is not alone that there are many other snowdrops that have been on the same journey. All being the best that they can be because that is what matters most to them.